Tuesday, December 24, 2013

When Paula Was My Phil

Once upon a time, a cook loved by millions said lots of things that a lot of people didn't like.
Just the other day, a redneck loved by millions said lots of things that a lot of people didn't like.

And somewhere between the two, I think I've learned a little.

See with Paula, I blew up social media. I had a loud, aggressive, in your face, how dare you, and yes I sure did just call you out publicly stance. It was deeply personal for me, and I drew a definite line. You're either with Paula or you're with me. There was no grey, no middle, no room for discussion or understanding.

I hurt people in my righteous indignation.
I damaged relationships beyond repair in certain cases.
I believe it played a part in a major turn of events in our lives.

My defense of my personal beliefs became more important than my relationships.

And I was wrong.

Not for my beliefs,
not for my defense of them,
but for their defense at all costs
and the manner in which it was done.

The love of Christ was absent.
I used His words and His name, but not His love.

And I wasn't sorry because I was too caught up in defending my cause.

Life changed.
Things settled.
Conviction worked its way in.

But not until Phil did clarity take over.
And remorse came with it.

I saw myself finally.

So many Christians rallied around Phil by attacking other people.
It was harsh, ugly, brutal, inflammatory, and mean-spirited.

The love of Christ was absent.
They used His words and His name, but not His love.

And I saw myself, and I am sorry.

Not because of my beliefs,
not for my defense of them,
but for their defense at all costs
and the manner in which it was done.

Because when Paula was my Phil,
I not only hurt my brothers and sisters in Christ,
I gave a lost world all the reason they needed to disbelieve that God is Love.

It may not be Paula or Phil, but it will happen again, and it will be different for me. It has to be.

"Jesus chose to save the world not through government reformation or moral correction but with unconditional undeserved relentless love." - Jennie Allen 

The next time WILL be different.
I will still use His words and His name,
and this time I will use His love.

Because as Ann Voskamp said,

"You can mean something — but if you say it mean, no one can hear your meaning.
Have convictions — but if you don’t have compassion, you will have trials.
Please, say what you believe — but please, always be love."
Who's with me?




4 comments:

  1. Just the other day, a REDNECK loved by millions said lots of things that a lot of people didn't like.

    Redneck? Really? Well, aren't you just the milk of human kindness? Keep striving you're not at your self-proclaimed state of perfection just yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Merry Christmas, Anonymous! May God pour out His blessings on you and yours in 2014!

      Delete
  2. He calls himself a redneck. I'm guessing this was a quote.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So maybe take back your mean spirit?

    ReplyDelete

 
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