Plowing the Hard Ground

I think I'm ready to write again.

The last 7 months have held so much. I would try to write and come up empty. Or either it was overload. Because we've been plowing the hard ground.

About a year ago, a friend stood in my living room and listened as we poured our hearts out; he said, "You guys are plowing the hard ground." And then prayed over us and our children. Including the ones none of us had met yet.



That phrase "plowing the hard ground" has been a lifeline, a validation of obedience.

We just thought we were plowing the hard ground before the Littles came home. Now we know.

It's not just going from a family of 4 to a family of 8 overnight.
It's not just the upheaval to our previous family rhythm.
It's not just their behavior, their grief, and their neediness.
It's not just the 24/7 dance of 1 step forward, 18 backwards.
It's not just the notoriety of being "that family."
It's not just the trial by fire indoctrination of racism in a small southern town.

It's me.
It's my heart.

That's the really hard ground. And I didn't even see it until a few days ago.

So much had changed since I started my blog 4and4makes8. I knew it needed a new name so I started brainstorming. Plowing the Hard Ground came to mind. Yes!  That's what my friend called it & that's definitely what we had been doing.

Then I wondered if there was a scripture about plowing the hard ground.  Immediately thought about the parable of the seeds, but it wasn't exactly what I wanted. So I did a search, and God took me to Hosea 10:12.

I said, "Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. PLOW UP THE HARD GROUND OF YOUR HEARTS, for now is the time to seek the Lord, that He may come and shower righteousness upon you.

It's me.

It's my heart.
It's my sin of bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, self-righteousness, impatience, selfishness . . .

I'm the hard ground that needs the most plowing.